


I’ll be there for you

by World_of_AUs



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23696710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/World_of_AUs/pseuds/World_of_AUs
Summary: A drunken nights leaves you in a predicament but your Bestfriend just may be the one to pull you through.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I really enjoy tropes like this so I thought I would give it a try! It was originally supposed to be a one shot but i decided to make it at least two to three chapters at most, since this is my first attempt at a au like this feedback is immensely appreciated whether you tel me you like it or hate it! Happy readings! 💖

You were numb, the people and voices around you a quiet hum compared to that of your wildly beating heart. You should have been more careful, you should have been mindful of the consequences, you should have been safe.

The pamphlet that you had gripped in your hands was shaking from your nerves, you looked over the words your eyes falling on a bolded section **“Planned Parenthood and Abortion”**. You never would have imagined you would be sitting here actually thinking of going through with this, but this is where you needed to remind yourself you should have been cautious with your decisions and the consequences that would come from it, and consequences there had been.

You had a wild night; letting yourself indulge for just a few hours, having had enough of your coworkers calling you a stick in the mud, you indulged them by accompanying them out on a work night. You should have never listened, you should have stayed home, nose deep in your files, why had you let them get the best of you. You would have hoped your first visit to the clinic would have been for a different reason, on a happier occasion, but when visiting a clinic like this would there have ever been a “happier occasion”? You couldn’t help the angered scoff that left your lips, you couldn’t believe your first visit to this office would be to inquire about a missed period. You knew the possibility of it being a missed period due to stress from work was a low one, the events of your “wild night” playing all to fresh in your mind.

“y/f/n/, y/l/n”

Your eyes shot up as the door swung open revealing a nurse with a clipboard, yours hands gripped the pamphlet impossibly tighter; you were caught like a deer in head lights. You stood on shaky legs, as you made your way over to her head casted down as you passed through the room, you didn’t want anyone to catch your eye; you felt like you were doing the walk of shame, but you were no longer in college.

You gave her a weary smile as you passed through the door, “right this way sweetheart.” she beckoned. You trailed behind her as she led you into a room; she quickly began by taking your vitals and jotting down your weight, she went on to ask you questions “the reason for the visit”. After explaining to her your concern, she was quick to pass you a plastic cup, “I’ll need you to give us a sample, so that we can see what’s going on here, as soon as your done go ahead and come back in and we can go from there,” she instructed giving you a warm smile. It was supposed to be a reassuring one but it didn’t come close to calming your quaking nerves.

You took the cup with shaky hands as you went into the small restroom across the hall. You were quick to do your business; washing your hands you patted your warm face slightly, your hands gripping the porcelain sink, your nerves were shot. Grabbing the plastic cup you returned to the room, the nurse waiting with a warm smile and an outstretched hand. You passed her the cup watching as she grabbed a couple of items from a cupboard, “So,” she began, “I'm going to go ahead and run this test as well as two others, if you are expecting the test will show right away, if you're not we like to at least have it at a stand time of 3 minutes before confirming that.”

You nodded your head at her instructions, watching from your chair in the corner of the room as she placed a dropper in your sample before leaning over to put a couple of drops on each test.

You held your breath, it was barely rounding a minute when she was looking up at you, a smile on her face, “congratulations sweetheart.” Dread filled you quickly, your eyes began to water, your body began to shake. _Was the room spinning,_ you thought. The nurse quick to take notice of your change in demeanor, made her way over to you grabbing your hands in hers.

“Oh honey, it’ll be okay, I know this was probably unexpected for you, but in a few minutes a doctor will be with you to go over your plans and of course to run a few more tests, I promise it’s going to be okay, just focus on your breathing for me.”

The minutes ticked by dreadfully slow after the nurse had excused herself from the room to go fetch the attending doctor on site, your mind kept replaying that night in your head, his breath on your skin, his lips against yours, the way his body moved within yours, none of it had felt right, but it happened, and you had let it happen in your drunken stupor, and now here you were at the clinic with a positive pregnancy test sitting on a table feet away from you. Three knocks sounded against the door, the noise having you jumping in your skin. You looked over at the door eyes wide, the doctors head peeked in first, a warm smile greeting you before the rest of her appeared.

She held a file to her chest as she approached your awaiting form sitting on the exam table.

“Good-morning, Miss y/l/n,” she greeted as she pulled up a chair to sit herself in front of you, “how are you feeling, the nurse had informed me you weren’t feeling to well after receiving some news, do you feel any better?” she questioned you warmly.

You shook your head “no”, nothing could possibly make this feeling go away.

“I’m so sorry to hear you're not feeling any better, would you like to talk to me about why that is, maybe we can get a plan going for you” she suggested.

You took a deep breath swallowing the knot in your throat, “This wasn’t expected,” you said quietly, “It should have never happened.”

The doctor nodded her head, “and what does the dad think?” she questioned.

You scoffed tears filling your eyes, “it was a drunken night Doc, I have no idea who the dad is, and I'm sure they wouldn’t want anything to do with me after a drunken one night stand.”

“ah,” she replies nodding her head in understanding, “well look let's not think about that right now, let me go ahead and do a couple of procedures on you and we can go from there, does that sound all right?” she questioned softly; you nodded your head numbly.

The doctor had you remove your clothes, passing you a flimsy paper like robe to cover yourself. You made your way back onto the examining table laying back and scooting up the furthest you could.

“Alright,” she said pulling stirrups from the side of the bed, “I’ll need you to put your feet in here for me, we’re going to check that everything is looking good down here, if at any point you feel uncomfortable you just let me know and I'll stop.” you didn’t give her an answer as you watched her move around the room putting some gloves on, getting a bottle of gel, and a speculum.

The doctor appeared between your legs once more, god how badly you wanted to shield yourself, you felt so exposed. “So, this is going to feel a little cold, I'm so sorry,” she murmured you heard the gel bottle make a squirting noise before you were jumping at the cold sensation of the gel hitting you.

“You’re doing great sweetheart, now you might feel a tinge of pressure for a short second,” she warned. You grimaced when she began to push the foreign contraption into you, your eyes squeezed shut as she worked.

“Everything is looking great, given the details of your last period, were looking at you being more or less 6 weeks pregnant.”

Your body remained numb as she finished up, you hadn't the slightest idea of how you got your body to move to change into your clothes. Once you were dressed in the comfort of your own clothes, she moved the two of you over to the chairs, file in her lap as she took in your disheveled form.

“So since this was unexpected, and you may have mixed feelings about how you want to follow through on this, I would like to hear your thoughts on this whole surprise and then we can make a plan for you.”

“How many days would I have before I need to make a decision?” you questioned.

“We can give you till the end of the week, I can give you some more information and pamphlets before you go and as soon as you’ve made the decision you can give us a call letting us know how you would like to proceed.” she informed.

You nodded your head, “I can sense your in no right state to make a decision right now and I’m sure your about ready to go on your way, so I’ll go ahead and walk you to the door where we can get you some more information, and we’ll have you right out, and remember as soon as you make the decision, whichever it may be just give us a call and we will set you up with the right help.”

You couldn’t thank her enough as she led you to the entrance, you truly felt alone in all of this right now, this whole thing was weighing solely on your shoulders and you’re not sure you’d be able to carry the weight of it alone.

You thanked the doctor one last time as she dropped you off by the door reaching for multiple pamphlets to give to you. You exited through the door, head casted down as you made your way out of the building. You weren’t sure what you were planning on doing, but right now you knew you needed to get home.

The silent walk back to your home was anything but the peaceful one you had been looking forward to; instead your nerves had been lit on fire, your breathing labored, you were a second away from breaking down in the streets of Brooklyn.You continued to push yourself through the streets despite your frayed nerves, finally you saw the sliver of hope, your shared home was just around the corner. Your feet moved you quicker down the cracked gum filled pavement. You raced up the steps to your home, unlocking the door with fervor, pushing your way in. You fell against the closed-door eyes closed tightly, pamphlet gripped hands clutched to your chest, your breaths coming out in labored gasps.

“Woah, you okay doll?”

Your glossy eyes shot open; your roommate stood in the hallway a coffee mug in his hand as he looked at your form with concern. The tears finally fell from your eyes, your body slipping down the door, pamphlets falling from your clenched hands.

“Shit,” you heard him mutter, before the mug was meeting the porcelain countertop, his hurried footsteps rushing to your side.

He squatted down to your level, his hands reaching out for you, “What happened y/n, are you okay?” he questioned voice laced with concern.

You couldn’t get a word out through your warbled tears, he pulled your hands from your face trying to get you to look at him, “you’re starting to worry me, what’s going on with you?” he questioned.

You looked at him through tear blurred eyes, your mouth open and closed but the only sound to come out was a choked sob falling from your lips. He was unsure what to do, he had never seen you break down like this, much less have a breakdown at all. You were always so sure of yourself, so head strong, always kept your head held high, so what was going on with you? He looked over your broken form trying to find something, anything to clue him in on what had you in this state. His eyes fell onto the purple, pink papers thrown at your side, he slowly reached out for them, his eyes scanned the pamphlets, had something happened to you?

“y/n, what are these, did something happen to you, did someone hurt you?” he questioned.

You looked up at him eyes widening as you noticed the pamphlets in his hand, more tears came to your eyes. _Oh god,_ you thought, now you definitely would need to explain yourself, but did you want to tell him? He looked at you with expectant but worried eyes, you took in a shaky breath steeling yourself.

“I’m -, god you couldn’t bring yourself to say it, “I’m, preg-,” another shaky sigh, “I’m pregnant Bucky,” you whispered eyes casting down in shame.

The words that spilled from your lips floored him, he was in disbelief, you surely didn’t just say you were pregnant right, his ears were just playing tricks on him? Had you been seeing someone discreetly, planned this out with the mystery man, were you in a serious relationship and none of them knew? He was wracking his brain to figure out how this could be, there was no way you could just be pregnant, unless you had planned it out. He knew this because there was many nights where you and him would stay up for hours talking about your futures, and you wanting children with the right person would always be brought up.

You were looking at him through watery eyes, trying to control the tears rolling down your cheeks, was he going to say something, did he think less of you?

“How,” his mouth opened and closed trying to find the words, “how, uh how did this happen?”

You wiped at your eyes with the back of your hand, you were quite for minutes, how would you tell him?

“It was,” your mind replayed the night again, more tears filling your eyes as you reflected on it, “It was a-” a choked sob left your lips, “It was a drunken night..”

Bucky was taken back though he would not let it show, “What do you mean a drunken night?” he questioned his hand coming to your knee hoping to offer you some comfort.

“It was a couple of weeks ago,” you hiccuped, “my coworkers were pestering me about not having gone out with them anymore, they had called me a “stick in the mud” for always flaking on them, they had assured me we would be going to dinner and then one bar for some drinks and that would be it” you took in a breath, “ they started with one drink which the quickly turned to three, and I can’t even really remember the rest it felt like a blur.” you cried.

“I’ve never really liked your coworkers,” he mumbled, “do you know what you’re going to do doll, do you have a plan already?” he questioned his thumb rubbing comforting circles on your skin.

You looked up at him, really looking at him for the first time since you had gotten home, “that’s just the thing Buck, I don’t know what to do,” you whimpered, “this wasn’t planned, and you know this was something important to me, you know this isn’t how I would have wanted to do things, and it’s all because I let my coworkers and there teasing get to me, it’s all because I wasn’t more careful.” you sniffed.

“Oh sweetheart,” he cooed his hand leaving your knee to come cup the side of you cheek, “I know this isn’t how you wanted things to pan out, but you cannot blame yourself for this happening, I know you may hate the words that are about to leave my mouth but,” he paused, “maybe this is one of those situations where things happen for a reason.” he offered.

You scoffed, if this was one of those situations, which you highly doubted, fate had a cruel way of playing with you.

“Is that why you weren’t home this morning?” he questioned, “you went to go visit the clinic?”

You nodded your head stiffly, “I don’t know what to do James,” you whispered, “this is something I have always wanted, but not like this, I wanted to be in a relationship with someone I loved deeply, I couldn’t even do that,” you scoffed, “ I never would have wanted to have it happen through a one-night stand, god that sounds so selfish and horrible of me to say,” you cried, “but I'm just so disappointed in myself.”

Bucky could sense your distress, so he did what he would always do when you were having a bad day, he pulled you into his arms cradling you close, his head falling onto yours as you cried into his chest.

He was silent for a moment, swaying the two of you slightly before he spoke up, “I know this wasn’t how you planned things, but doll none of this is your fault, see it as a happy accident if you can bring yourself to, but you should not be disappointed in yourself because this was not your fault, I know you’re unsure of the next step you want to take, but just know you won’t be alone, whatever you decide I will be there for you every step of the way.”

A strangled noise left your lips as you pressed in closer to him, “what did I do to deserve someone like you in my life?” you questioned.

Bucky smiled into your hair, “I’m not sure sweetheart, but I wouldn’t ever change it, because just like I’m here for you, you’ve always been there for me.”

It was silent for a few moments before you were speaking up through shaky breaths, “They said they would give me till the end of the week to make a decision on what I wanted to do,” you said quietly, “Do you think - could you maybe come with me to the appointment, I don’t want to be alone.” you whispered.

“Of course doll, whatever you need.” He whispered placing a kiss to your hair.

After Bucky has managed to calm you down, he had given you the courage to call the clinic again and set up an appointment, in your mind you had already decided, this wasn’t something you could go through. You had battled with yourself looking at both scenarios, but in the end the latter had won, you didn’t think you could go through with this pregnancy. In your mind it just wasn’t right; you didn’t know who the father could possibly be, nor did you think you were ready to raise a child alone, would you even be a good mother?

You had stayed glued to Bucky’s side for the remainder of the evening, you really didn’t want to be alone, you weren’t sure you could be without breaking into hysterics again. Though the guilt of him having to cancel guys night with Steve and Sam was eating at you.

“Buck, you should go,” you whispered, “I’m being ridiculous, I’ll be fine by myself, go out with the guys, go have a good time with them.” You said looking up at him.

He glanced down at you, “I’m right where I need to be, the guys understand y/n, besides this is a weekly thing, they understand if I need to skip out on one night, it’s not like I’m obligated to go.”

You groaned slightly, you knew there was no convincing him, there had been numerous times on different occasions where you had tried to do the same and it always ended much like tonight, “only if you’re sure, I don’t want to keep you from a fun night with the guys.”

He pulled you closer into his side, his eyes going back to the TV screen, “I’m positive, there’s no place I’d rather be more.”

The days leading up to your scheduled appointment had passed you in a blur. Trying not to let yourself fall victim to your fraying nerves your thrusted yourself into work. Bucky had been concerned but had been supportive of you needing to be at work, he knew you needed to have your mind on anything else other than your situation. He had remained true to his word when the time came for you to get to your appointment; the car was silent as he drove you to the clinic, your hand tightly gripped in his. By the time you had arrived at the building you were sweating bullets, you looked over to Bucky eyes wide,

“I’ll be right here waiting for you sweetheart,”

You have him a curt nod as you exited the parked car, making your way inside to the clinic. Once signed in you took a seat in the farthest corner; your hands were curled in your bouncing lap waiting, worrying. You looked around the clinic noticing quite a few women by themselves. They were obviously farther along in their pregnancy and they were absolutely glowing. They looked immaculately happy as they absentmindedly ran their hands over their rounded bumps. As you sat there watching them you envisioned yourself at that stage, your heart grew warm, butterflies fluttering. The realization of what you were planning to have done washed over you like a bucket of ice-cold water.

Oh god, what were you doing? Were you really going to go through with this because of a drunken one night stand? This was something you wanted, and you weren’t getting any younger, sure the circumstances in which you would bring this child into this world would be far from perfect, but could you really go through with the decision you had rashly made? What if you went through with it and regretted it the second you were out of the clinic. The “what if’s” bounced around in your head, your anxiety growing.

You jumped in your seat when a nurse called out your name, a knot grew in your throat as you stood closing the distance between your fate.

Bucky watched the doors of the clinic like a hawk, with every fiber of his being he wanted to go in there and hold your hand through it all. When you had broke the news of your decision to him, he had been taken aback to say the least but despite the circumstances he understood. He just wished that there had been something he could have done, could have offered you to get you to change your mind. He moved forward in his seat when he saw your form come out of the clinics door, tears were rolling down your face, you looked utterly distressed. He quickly unbuckled himself sliding from the car as you both met in the middle. He opened his arms letting you crash into him, choked sobs leaving your quivering lips.

“I couldn’t do it Buck, I couldn’t go through with it.” You cried.

A part of Bucky wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, he kissed the top of your head holding you tighter to him, “what happened sweetheart, what changed your mind.”

You took in a couple of shaky breaths to calm your quaking nerves, “I felt like I was being absurd making the decision I did, this was something I wanted, and sure it’s not happening in the way I want,” you sniffled, “but I could make this work, I could figure out how to do this alone.”

Bucky held you tighter, “you won’t have to do it alone, I’ll be right here beside you doll.”

You moved away from him slightly looking up at him, “Buck this isn’t your responsibility, you don’t have to.”

A small smile appeared on his lips, “ I know it’s not my responsibility, but I’m going to be here for you, I won’t let you go through this alone, not if you don’t have too.”

If you hadn’t already had it bad for the man whose arms held you together, you surely had it now.

After Bucky had calmed you down with reassuring words whispered into your ear, he was able to coax you back into the office where the staff had assisted the two of you in finding a doctor for your first visit. Bucky’s thumb was rubbing soothing circles on the backside of your hand the entire time the receptionist worked, if it hadn’t been for him taking action you may have just bursted out into hysterics again.

Since your words had failed you time and time again, he took care of the whole thing while you stood frozen at his side.

“Y/n sweetheart, you’re really starting to worry me, and I'm not above taking you to the emergency room.”

Those his words were warbled from where you were locked away in your mind, his voice was able to coax you out. Bucky was seated in front of you, a cup and a plate sat in front of him, you glanced down dazed to find one of each in front of you as well.

“I’m being serious, I'm not above it, you’ve been out of it since the clinic, you really are starting to worry me, you haven't said one word.” he spoke, his voice laced with concern.

You glanced back up at him to see the worry etched into his features, you looked around to see that he had brought you to your favorite burger joint, god you really had been out of it, you brought your hands up to your face to rub at it, hoping to pull yourself from the funk you had gotten yourself into.

You looked to Bucky again, “I’m sorry,” you murmured, “today has just been a really rough day, and-” you couldn’t find the words.

Bucky must have understood, his hand reaching out to grip yours in his, “I understand doll, and I can’t imagine any of this being easy for you, but it’s going to be okay, we’re going to both get through this, that’s a promise.”

An inaudible sigh left your lips, “You keep saying that Buck, but I can’t make you do this, I can’t ask for your help, you're not the reason that I'm in this situation, hell I probably wouldn’t be had I just stayed home and joined you all for a movie night instead of giving into my coworker’s peer pressure, you shouldn’t have to -”

Bucky raised his hand silencing you, “Firstly, I'm going to need you to stop rambling and eat something,” he began pointing his fork at your plate, “secondly, I’m going to need you to stop telling me what I can and can’t do for you,” he said sternly, “look y/n I know you feel like you have to do this alone, but you don’t have too, we’re best friends who are also roommates in case you forgot doll, I see you almost every day, there shouldn’t be a reason for you to think I wouldn’t help you through this, this is a huge thing that you’re about to go through, and I'm sure your scared shitless, but just like you’ve never left me to go through the hardest moments of my life alone,” he paused his hand tightening around yours, “I’m not about to let you go through this alone either.”

His words had taken you by surprise leaving you speechless for a second, you gaped at him as you lifted a trembling fork to your lips. You both ate in relative silence, the food helping to ease your once quaking nerves. Once you had gathered your bearings a little more you were able to find the words you wanted to speak.

Taking a quick sip from your cup clearing your throat to get Bucky’s attention, he looked up at you expectantly, “I know you say you will not let me go through this alone but,” you held up your hand silencing him when you saw his mouth open to protest you, “but I still cannot expect that of you, I know everything that is going to come out of your mouth the minute I’m done, so don’t even try it,” you warned pointing a finger at him, “I’ll let you help me in anyway you want, but know that I’m not expecting anything from you Bucky, this was not your doing and it’s not your responsibility, besides once I get farther along you may start to change your mind.”

He raised a brow at you in question, “you done?” He asked, you mirrored his expression, “I’ll take your silence as my answer,” he leaned forward slightly, “I’ll let you believe what you’d like, but I’ll prove you wrong sweetheart, and that’s a promise.” He stated throwing you a wink as he leaned back in his seat a smug smile on his features at your reaction.

Prove you wrong he was, since the day at the diner Bucky truly had showed you he could and would be there, it had started with simple things such canceling plans with the boys to spend an evening in with you, too cancelling dates he had been set up on, and despite your protests Bucky would hear none of it, “I’m right where I need to be doll, now shush and come here,” he would coo pulling you into his arms to hush any further protest from you.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t indulge in the attention he was giving you, hell you were thriving on it. You also knew it was a potentially dangerous game you were letting yourself get caught in, with your heart at bullet point. But Bucky was incessant and your were hoping with your first appointment coming up he would finally let up. Oh how wrong you were.

It was the morning of your appointment and you had just arrived to the clinic. You walked into the office head casted down slightly as your nerves began to peek through the surface. Walking up to the receptionist you signed in giving her your best attempt at a smile.

“Go ahead and fill these out for me, and when we’re ready we’ll call you back.” She replied giving you a warm smile.

You thanked her quietly as you gathered your things. Turning on your heel you froze mid-step when you caught sight of the person in the far corner of the room hunched over in the chair tapping away at his phone.

You walked over slowly not quite believing he was actually there.

“Bucky?” You questioned grabbing his attention.

He beamed up at you, “there you are!” He greeted patting the seat next to him, “I was starting to get worried thought I might need to go pick you up myself.”

You let yourself slowly fall to the seat next to him still dumbfounded that he was actually there, “what are you doing here?” You questioned brow raised.

He gave you an expression of “are you serious” before speaking up, “why wouldn’t I be here?” He inquired, “it’s your first appointment doll, you shouldn’t be by yourself.”

You shook your head, “no I mean what are you doing here?” You questioned waving your hands around, “you’re supposed to be at the tower with the team Bucky!”

He waved you off, “told them I had somewhere important I needed to be, took an early lunch if you will,” he said, “I’ll head back after we’re done here.”

Your heart stuttered in your chest, he was really pulling out all the stops wasn’t he? He didn’t have to be here, but yet there he was in all his glory, god your heart wasn’t going to survive this.

“Buck you don’t have to be here,” you protested, “you don’t have to pick up someone else’s responsibility -”

He turned his body towards your more his hand coming up to your cheek, “

You didn’t give him an answer as you got yourself comfortable in your chair, looking down at the clipboard of papers instead, you willed your fluttering heart to behave. The both of you remained quiet while you went about answering the questions, both of you perking up at the sound of your name. You stood up gathering your things, you noticed Bucky was now hesitating.

“Do you,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “do you want me to go in with you?”he questioned, “I don’t want to overstep.”

You smiled warmly at him, “you said you’d be there didn’t you?” You questioned softly holding out your hand to him.


	2. Chapter two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two, I hope you guys enjoy this part, there will be one final part coming up and hopefully I’ll have it out sooner than later! Feedback is always greatly appreciated, please let me know what you all think and as always thank you for reading!
> 
> Also for those reading “never let me go” I’ll hopefully have a chapter out for you all tomorrow!

Bucky grinned at you no longer hesitant In grabbing a hold of your outstretched hand, the two of you walking towards the waiting nurse

“Good morning, follow me this way!” She chirped happily.

Much like at the clinic it went the same, after taking your vitals she turned to you, “I’ll need you to undress from your bottom half, and put this over yourself, the doctor will be in shortly.”

You stared after her eyes wide as you took in what she had requested of you. “Uh,” you began turning your head slightly towards Bucky. He was grinning at you deviously, a twinkle in his eye, “it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

Your mouth fell open at his statement, “you haven’t seen it before.” You hissed.

He held his hands up in mock surrender, “alright alright grouchy, you could have just told me you wanted me to see it.” He teased throwing you a wink.

You gasped reaching out to smack his arm slightly earning you a chuckle, “James Buchanan Barnes, you cut that out right now,” you grunted, “turn around I don’t need you seeing my lady bits, not like this.” You murmured without thinking.

He smirked up at you, “oh, so you would like me to see eventually?” he questioned in a teasing tone.

“I - I- would you shut up and turn around so I can undress!” you hissed your cheeks flaring in embarrassment.

He let out a low chuckle but stood anyway turning his back to you. You made quick working of kicking off your shoes pulling down your jeans and panties covering yourself with the paper like fabric over your bottom half. You got back onto the exam table making sure you were fully covered before giving Bucky the okay to turn around. He was turning to face you just as the doctor was knocking at the door, her head peering in, she smiled at the two of your brightly, “Good morning you two, hello y/n,” she greeted, “how are you feeling?" she questioned.

“Honestly, a little exposed,” you murmured, which earned a laugh from her and Bucky.

“Well we wouldn’t want that,” she joked back, “Well lets go ahead and check on the baby, since your last period was april 10, you should be around 9 weeks but after this sonogram we’ll able to tell you how far along you actually are, as well as your due date” she stated.

You nodded your head as she moved around the room gathering the things she needed as well as moving a monitor closer to your bedside table, “Uh dad,” she said looking at Bucky, “you can move by the mom’s bedside, so you can have a better look at the baby, and not so much of well you know.”

You were absolutely mortified, not because the doctor had called Bucky the dad but because she was referring to your lady bits!

Bucky let out a low chuckle as he moved around to your side his chair scraping against the tile.

“Alright y/n since you’re still too early to detect with our regular sonogram wand, we’re going to do it through our transvaginal ultrasound wand, you may feel some pressure but I promise that’s totally normal,” the doctor walked you through the entire thing, showing you the wand she was planning to use.

“Alright you two, you ready to see baby?” she questioned cheerfully. You and Bucky both reached for each other, your hand gripping his tightly in yours, you chewed on your lower lip as she began to insert the wand.

The screen went from a black grey screen to exactly the same image, but now there was a bean shaped sack with a - “is that a tadpole?” Bucky spoke up.

The doctor laughed, “No, sorry to disappoint dad, but that there is your baby your looking at,” your eyes began to glisten as you looked over at the screen, “Alright let’s see if we can hear a heartbeat,” she murmured as she toggled around with the computer. You watched as she enhanced the screen, suddenly a soft rapid whooshing filled the room. The first tear fell from your eyes, “Is that – is that really their heartbeat?” you sniffled looking at the screen through blurred eyes.

The doctor looked over to you giving you a warm smile as she passed you a tissue, “Sure is momma, and from the looks of it you are about 9 weeks like predicted, so your due date will be January 20, granted everything goes well in the course of the next months, and nothing changes.”

The doctor resumed to a regular screen, printing a screen image for you of your first ultrasound, you grabbed it from her hand looking over the image, “Here’s one for dad to,” she said handing you another image. You went to go correct her but Bucky was cutting you off as he rushed out a quick “thanks” snatching the picture from your hands.

After you had finished with your sonogram you and the doctor talked back and fourth about any concerns you had, you even occasionally found yourself wanting to turn to Bucky to ask if he had any questions, but then the cold reality of this not being his child and the reality of your actual situation would hit you and you would have to bite your tongue.

“Well if you have no further questions ill go ahead and let you get changed, and once your finished up in here you can get dressed and make your way to the front to schedule your next appointment.” She smiled.

You and Bucky both thanked her watching as she exited the room, he handed you over you clothes turning away from you so that you could change, you could feel a shift in energy between the two of you, but you weren’t sure what could have caused it.

After setting up your next appointment you and Bucky exited the office he was busy typing away on his phone with one hand the sonogram gripped tightly in his other.

You stood by his side patiently waiting for him to finish up so that you could thank him for being here at the appointment with you and maybe throw in an apology for the doctors continuous slip up of calling him dad which you never corrected.

After a minute he was pocketing his phone glancing up at you the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips, “so you want to get breakfast?” He questioned throwing you for a loop.

You gaped at him, “Buck you’re supposed to head back to the tower after this.”

He grinned, “texted the team I wouldn’t be returning after all, have some more important things to be tending to.” He winked

You rolled your eyes slightly at the wink, a grin forming on your lips, “Bucky,” you sighed, “you need to stop coping out of important things with the team for me, they’re going to get suspicious.”

He swung his arm around you pulling you in closer, “they’re already suspicious, but they’re not going to suspect a thing, don’t worry doll.” He assured.

You went to question his “they’re already suspicious” statement but he was already whisking you away to the parking lot not giving you time for an argument.

Your pregnancy was passing you by in a nauseatingly grumpy haze, you were three months in and already tired. Your coworkers had been constantly questioning your crabbiness, but you had always been able to pass it off as stress from a new assignment, or just stress of life in general and they were quick to except your answer as you were still not showing yet. Bucky had been an absolute angel through your morning sickness and well the whole newness that came with being pregnant, it seemed he was always there to lend you a helping hand when necessary, truly the man would never back down, not even when you were snapping at him, oh no, that only caused him to dote on you harder, leaving you to moan and groan under your breath.

Canceling plans had become part of Bucky’s routine and just like he had promised those 3 months ago that the team would not become suspicious of him always bailing they indeed had. It had been another of those nights where he had bailed on the team again. They had been trying to get Bucky out and on a date for the past month, but Bucky was insistent that he wasn’t interested, well that hadnt worked out the least in his favor. You and Bucky had been relaxing on the couch watching a series on Netflix, when a persistent pounding sounded at your door. Bucky glanced over at you, then back over to the door, “were you expecting someone?” he questioned. You shook your head, Bucky sighed as he pushed himself off the couch making his way to the door. He was barely unlocking the door before it was swinging open, Sam barging in, Steve and Natasha trailing behind him.

“alright tinman, enough is enough, you’ve been bailing on us for too long now, you’re going out with us whether you want to or not!” Sam stated as he entered your home.

“Yeah Barnes, I’m sorry to say, but I agree with Sam on this one,” Natasha spoke up from the trio.

Bucky turned to Steve baffled, “Sorry bud, but I'm going to also have to agree on this one, we barely see you,” he said, “no offense to you y/n” he added acknowledging your presence on the couch.

“So go get changed and meet us out here, were going out and your coming with us, we’re going to get you a girl.” Sam announced, the words made your heart into the depths of your stomach.

“Sam come on man, me and y/n are watching a show, I can’t just bail on her.” Bucky spoke up.

“Look man of course you can, I’m sure y/n wouldn’t mind, you’re probably driving her crazy forcing her to spend this much time with you.” Steve added, “isn’t that right y/n?” he questioned looking at you.

You tried your hardest not to look like a deer in headlights, “Uh,” your eyes bounced around the room, “Uh, yeah no, that’s fine, he can go out with you,” you murmured, not bearing to meet anybody’s eyes without giving away your emotions.

“See!” Sam exclaimed swinging his arm out in your direction, “she said it’s cool, besides that’s why Nat tagged along, she’s going to keep your girl company, while we’re out.”

“Wouldn’t say I'm his girl, if the reason you’re taking him out is to find him a girl,” you muttered with an eye roll.

No more words were shared between the four of you as Sam and Steve pushed Bucky to his room, Natasha making her way over to you. Joining you on the couch a comfortable silence washed over the two of you for a short second before she was turning in her seat towards you. At first she didn’t say anything just watching you, her hands wandering your form, you swallowed feeling tense at her gaze.

“Your almost 4 months aren’t you, why aren’t you showing yet?” she questioned.

Your head snapped in her direction eyes going wide, “Excuse me?” you choked out. How did she know, nobody knew, how the hell did she find out?

“Come now y/n I'm actually hurt you think I wouldn’t find out.” she grinned her eyes burning into yours.

“How did you – how did you find out?” you murmured voice dropping to a whisper.

“Barnes may be able to resist the other two, but twist his arm a little and he squirms.” She shrugs.

Your mouth dropped open Natasha taking notice, “don’t worry he didn’t tell me much,” she tried to reassure, “but he had been so distant from the group, and so,” she tapped her finger to her chin as if in thought, “so happy, the other two were oblivious to it but he was practically glowing, it was just unlike the Bucky I had seen.”

You were unsure how to react much less what to say, you weren’t expecting this to happen, much less explain the situation. Had Bucky explained the entire situation, did he explain the agreement he had offered?

“You don’t have to tell me what happened, Barnes said it was an emotional subject,” she sighed, “ I’m sorry I spilled it like this on you, but I almost thought Barnes was bluffing about it, I’m sorry.” She whispered her hand coming to grip yours.

You gripped hers in yours, “it’s okay, I was expecting this to happen even if he had told me otherwise,” you said softly, “ I was also planning on eventually telling everyone as there’s only so much I can do/wear to hide the ever growing bump.” You whispered a small smile gracing your lips as you removed your hands from hers to smooth out your shirt over the small rounded bump.

Natashas eyes widened slightly glossy, “oh my god,” she whispered her hands coming out to lay over it, “that is the most precious thing I have ever seen.” She whispered glancing back at you.

You and Natasha heard the boys footsteps returning, their bellowing laughter filling the hall. Natasha pulled her hand away, you pulled at your shirt just as the boys came in.

“Everything alright?” Bucky questioned looking between you and Natasha suspiciously.

You nodded your head stiffly, “everything’s fine, you all should get out of here.” Natasha spoke up.

“Don’t have to tell us twice,” Sam cheered gripping Bucky’s shoulders tightly as he led him out of the house not letting Bucky give you or Natasha a second glance.

With the boys out of the house you and Natasha took some time to talk about your situation. You explained everything to her, from your drunken night, to finding out you were pregnant, to how Bucky had promised to be there for you through this, she even grilled you enough to the point that she had you spilling your feelings for the man.

  
“ты должен сказать ему, дорогаяq” she replied her hand falling on your shoulder.

“I don’t know Nat, just because he’s opting to be there for me doesn’t mean he’ll hold true to his word, and it definitely doesn’t mean he has feelings, he’s my best friend that’s all this is.”

She raised a brow at you shaking her head slightly, “типичный,” she sighed, “trust me y/n he’s not doing these for any of the reason’s you’re thinking, he really does care for you, and its definitely in more than a friendly way.”

You wanted to argue with the redhead but you knew it would’nt get you anywhere, much like Bucky she was strong willed and hardheaded and once set on something there was no changing her mind.

The two of you continued to enjoy your night, the hours ticking by as you and natasha watched films and talked about your plans for your pregnancy.

“You’re looking pretty tired y/n, i think i should head out and let you get some rest,” she murmured a small yawn passing by her lips. You looked at the clock on the stand next to you it was nearing 12 in the morning, and still no sign or word from the boys.

“Do you have a ride though?” you questioned, “ the boy’s arent even back yet, and i havent recieved any word from them.”

“Yeah i brought one of Tony’s cars with me, followed the boys here,” she said as she stood stretching out, “as for the boys,” she looked away as if contemplating the next words from her mouth.

“As for the boys?” you questioned

“Sam texted me to let you know not to wait up, they all found a lucky lady for the night.” she murmured.

Though your heart had cracked in two falling into the depths of your stomach, you would not let it show through on your face. Natasha had seen through you as she leaned towards you her hand falling softly to your shoulder, “I’m sorry y/n i had told Sam it wouldn’t be a good idea, but you know how Sam can be.”

You shook her concern off, “it’s fine Nat, it’s not like Bucky and i were a thing, he’s allowed to do whatever he pleases.” you weren’t sure who you were trying to convince more, yourself or her. Besides it was true, you had no right to feel any sort of way, you and Bucky weren’t a couple and the baby growing inside of you wasn’t his. Bucky was free to do his own thing, and you needed to remind yourself that no matter how bad you wished the circumstances were different. After seeing Natasha our and with wanting nothing else more than the comfort of your own bed you decided to call it a night.

You groaned, pushing the blankets off of you aggressively you sat up half asleep in bed stomach rumbling, mumbling profanities under your breath you let your feet touch the ground You glanced at the clock that said it was three fifteen in the morning another groan left your lips “Jesus Christ,” you muttered getting out of bed. You stomped over to the door pulling it open roughly, letting it swing against the wall, not caring that it made a thud that echoed throughout the eerily quiet house. You definitely didn’t care about the noise you were making, you were upset to have been forced awake by your hungered thoughts, that had your stomach growling this late like a creature of the night.

Opening the fridge you looked around before you reached in pulling out a carton of eggs. Setting them over by the stove you began going through his cabinets looking for a pan, once again not caring that you were slamming things around and being way too loud for three in the morning. Finally finding a pan you pulled at it only to realize it was caught on another pan, in a fit of frustration caused by your hunger you yanked at it causing more pans to fly from the cabinet as well. You groaned your head flying back, setting the pan you were going to use on the counter before bending down, which was getting harder as the days went on, you picked up all the other ones that littered the floor, shoving them back in the cabinet before slamming it shut, you knew the next time that cabinet was opened it would be raining pans.

You grabbed the closest bowl, grabbing a handful of eggs before you began to crack each one into your container.

“Y/n?” Bucky questioned, you jumped where you stood your hand coming up to rest on your wildly beating heart. You glanced up at him to see him shirtless wearing just a pair of pajama bottoms. His hair was a ruffled mess and he was rubbing his eye, staring at you. “What are you doing doll?”

You glared at him. “What does it look like I’m doing, I’m making eggs Einstein.” You said as you poured your battered liquid egg onto the waiting pan, reaching for a spoon so you could stir it.

“At three in the morning?” he questioned squinting at the clock on the microwave.

You shrugged “I was hungry, tried to fight it off as much as I could but I couldn’t.” You muttered.

“You couldn’t wait till morning, I was trying to get some sleep doll,” he said rubbing at his eyes, your face morphed into a glare.

“Oh, I’m sorry, was I making too much noise for you? Did my noise interrupt your sleeping?” You grumbled swirling your eggs around angrily.

He raised a brow at you, “what?” He questioned taken aback by your tone, “is something going on?” He questioned

“I’m pregnant Barnes!” You hissed shutting off the stove. “I can’t control when I’m hungry, much less control anything else going on in my life, and honestly you should be a little more understanding!”

He looked at you face blank, “anything else you’d like to complain about?

You knew it had come out as a rhetorical question but due to the events of the night, you decided to just go at it.

“Actually you know what, yes, I have a bone to pick with you,” you started pointing an accusatory fork at him, “next time you plan on staying out late I’d appreciate if y’all didn’t keep me in the dark about it, I deserve to know things too and not have to find out you’re going to be “hooking up” with someone from her, we’re roommates Barnes I need to be alerted if you’re bringing a girl from the bar home.” You grunted shoveling a forkful of eggs into your mouth

His eyes twinkled, “anything else doll?” He mocked drawling out the word doll.

“Yes,” you muttered, “ I’m up at three in the morning eating god damned eggs when I should be sleeping like a normal person,” you started, “I’m fat, my work clothes and regular clothes are shrinking by the day and does that stop me from eating these eggs?” You scowled shoveling more in your mouth, bucky looked at you to continue, “it doesn’t,” you answer, “I also spend half my work day in the restroom because I have to pee every ten minutes, and you want to know another thing, you are allowed to go out and do whatever or whoever you want because this isn’t your responsibility, we’re just best friends who are roommates and I shouldn’t care that you’re out picking up women but it does.” You huffed, “ I’m tired of being pregnant, my emotions are all over the place and I can’t even control them, what the heck am I going to do for the next five months?” You groaned looking down at your now empty plate.

Bucky chuckled softly, “feel better?” He questioned moving around the island to step closer to you, you glanced up at him through your lashes a warm hue covering your cheeks when you saw his naked torso.

“Just a little,” you admitted lamely. You sucked in a breath holding it and letting it fill your lungs before it was escaping quickly through your nose. You filled looked over to him, “ I’m sorry Buck, I’m just so goddamn frustrated, I’m so tired, I just want this bean out already,” You sighed.

He gave you a warm smile, “I figured as much, that’s why I let you continue.” A smirk graced his lips as he caught your eyes slipping across his chest, “anything I can do to help relieve your stress?” He questioned lips pulled into a teasing smirk.

Your cheeks turned red at his teasing, your eyes turning away from his as you bit down on your lip. It took you a second before your could look at him again, this isn’t the first time he had made a teasing statement like this, your friendship had been built on the teasing moments, but this was the first time that his eyes trailed your body the way they were. His eyes trailed your body taking in his shirt your wore, the one that wasn’t quite long enough to fall mid thigh on you with your bump, you knew if you moved even slightly he would get a view of your ass clad in your lace panties.

You didn’t say anything as the two of you stood there, a cloud of tension had settled over you so thick you probably could have seared it with a knife. This had never happened before, this was new territory for the both of you, but then you thought back to your conversation with Natasha and how you should tell him how you felt. While you weren’t sure you could do that just yet, you decided that you couldn’t take it anymore. You were hormonal and to be blunt a little horny, okay very horny. You leaned back against the island hoisting yourself up to perch yourself on the cool granite. Your eyes watched for Bucky’s reaction, you needed to know you weren’t reading into this, you needed to know this wasn’t one sided. Bucky’s eyes followed your movements, his eyes darkening slightly as he drank in your form. He walked closer to you closing the gap, his eyes locked with yours. He stopped In front of you, his eyes dropping to trail your legs, the fabric of his shirt doing nothing to conceal you, his eyes trailed up till they were locking with yours once more.

You continued to test the waters, pushing the boundaries a little farther as you pushed your legs apart, your feet swinging up to wrap around his waist to pull him closer. You slid forward on the counter, his body meet yours closing the distance. His hands creeped up to your hips gripping them, your hands reached out, fingers dancing along the smoothness of his chest trailing up where they locked behind his neck pulling him down to you. You faces were inches apart his warm ragged breath fanning across your face. His tongue peeked out wetting his lips, your body shivered craving his touch.

“Bucky” you breathed out his names ghosting across his lips, beckoning him to close the distance.

A small smirk kissed the side of his lips, as he leaned down his lips connecting with yours. The moment your lips touched you swore it was like a swarm of butterflies had been released in your stomach. You could feel the passion, the want, and was that love?

His hands fell from your hips fingers tracing lines along the skin of your thighs driving you absolutely insane. You pulled away from his lips your head thrown back as breathy moan fell from your lips. Bucky’s lips trailed down your jaw making their way across your neck seeking out that spot just underneath your ear.

“Buck” you moaned.

He pulled back slightly his lust filled eyes looking up at you,

“I want you, I want you so bad.” You breathed out staring into his ocean blue eyes.

His eyes softened and you knew that in that moment he understood your words. You knew he understood that you wanted him more than just in this moment.

You wanted him.

“You have me sweetheart,” he whispered into your lips as he connected them once again. You smiled into the kiss, feeling him do the same and for a second the focus shifted.

You were no longer just kissing in a lustful rage but instead the moment had slowed as you savored the feeling of his body against your own. With each kiss placed on your lips it brought on a whole new feeling of want and you knew that this would change things between the two of you. You knew that after this night there would be no going back. You were giving yourself over to him and he was taking it, showing you just how much you meant to him.

He wanted you.

His hands traveled back up your legs, brushing past you hips and coming to a stop at the small of your back. He pushed you forward gently hoisting you up in his arms, lifting you off the counter. He carried you effortlessly to his bedroom, setting you down on his plush bed. He tugged at your shirt, pulling it up and over your head smirking when he noticed you weren’t wearing a bra. His lips found yours again, your fingers running along his chest as he hovered above you you came to a stop just above the waistband of his pants.

He pulled away from you, a whimper falling from your lips at the loss of contact. He hovered over you, his hands on either side of your head holding him above you.

His eyes softened, “I need you to know this changes everything for me doll, I want to be there for you in more ways than one.”

“I know Buck,” you smiled a single hand coming up to cup his cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere sweetheart, I want this with you, I want to be there for you, I want to do this with you.” He whispered as he leaned back down closing the distance between your lips once more. You pulled him closer to you, letting the feelings you had grown for him over the past months make themselves known as you gave yourself to him for the first time.


	3. part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took me so long to get out, but i always have so much trouble not writing more than i should. I hope you all enjoy this last part, if I'm being honest there will be an epilogue, to this little series as i find it necessary to give you some more fluffy moments! Thank you for reading!

“Y/n, please don’t do this, you don’t even know the guy, you only met him once , and may I add the both of you were very drunk, you don’t need to do this.”

Another sigh  fell  from your lips as you turned to face Bucky, “Buck  I can’t just back out, my coworkers told him about me , about the baby,” you said gesturing down to your 6 month bump , “he wants to talk, that’s it , that’s all he said, he just wants to talk.”

Bucky paced the living room, “what if he tries something, what if he wants to be there, to be there for the baby?” 

A groan fell from your lips, your hands flew up in the air in frustration,  “and what would be so wrong with that? ” you questioned,  “he’s the father, he has a right to be there for the baby if he choose s too, this is his baby.”

You were frustrated, had been frustrated for  a while now, your coworkers hadn’t let up about helping you find the dad when you finally  came out to them you were pregnant. You hadn’t even wanted to tell them about it , but  there had been only so much you  could do to cover your ever - growing bump at work. It’s as if your bump had grown overnight  once you had crossed the five-month mark  and the minute they laid eyes on it, you knew you were in for it with the onslaught of questions they had thrown at you that morning. You had to explain everything , even explained your new relationship with Bucky, you had assured them you didn’t need to know who’s the baby’s father was because Bucky was going to be an amazing one, and he had showed you  every day since that night you two had  decided to take the next step with one another. Your coworkers simply hadn’t let up, and made it their duty to track down your one - night stand, you didn’t think anything would come of it , you were content with how things were now. Until one morning your coworkers waltzed over to you completely giddy telling you they had tracked  _ him _ down, they had even set the two of you up to get coffee. You had tried to get out of it saying you had a  doctor's appointment that afternoon, which you did, but they wouldn’t let up. You had even argued that they had done this behind your back, and you just weren't comfortable, but all of it was to no avail, they had guilted you yet again.

“Get coffee with him early in the morning, and then you can head to your doctor’s appointment, maybe he can come with.” One of them had chimed in.

“I can’t have coffee,” you had muttered, “ Bucky will be there, I don’t need anybody else by my side.”

“He’s the father y/n, he deserves to be there if he wants to be.”

They hadn’t left you alone, not even after you agree d to meet with him , any chance they got  they were there to remind you. Every. Single. Day. So  your frustration had only grown, and now you were seemingly taking it out on the last person you wanted to.

“But y/n,” Bucky tried to reason.

“Enough!” You hissed, “he’s the father Bucky, this is his child, if he wants to  be there, he’s going to be .”

“But -”

“But nothing, he’s the dad, you’re not, so drop it.” You growled,  Bucky’s face fell at your words, h is head dropped. Your heart dropped in your chest , realization dawning over you at what you had just said.

“Bucky  I’m so sor -”

He held up his hand shaking his head, “it’s fine, I get it,” he grunted, “ he’s the dad,” he shook his head again as he turned on his heel the anger evident in his form, “ I’ll see you later,” he muttered not looking at you.

“At my appointment?” You questioned lowly.

You heard him scoff before he turned to glare at you over his shoulder, “ no, the  _ dad _ will be there , you don’t need me.”

Your face fell, you had really done it this time, “Bucky please, I didn’t mean it like that, I was just so frustrated, I didn’t mean-”

“You may not have “meant it”, but you still said it,  I’ll be home later, hope your appointment goes good.” He muttered before he was pulling open the door the wooden structure slamming behind him.

A lone tear fell from you r  eye as you num bly gathered your things , you  just wanted this day to be over.

“So how many months are you?”

You looked up at the stranger in front of you, he looked frightened, he was literally on the edge of his seat, “I’m six months,” you murmured looking down at the glass of untouched orange juice in front of you.

“Nice,” you cringed internally, god this guy was a piece of work what had you even saw in him that night?

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

You looked up at him  prepared to give him a short answer  only to find his eyes weren’t on you no longer feigning interest, his eyes  were  now glued to the ass of the waiter a few tables behind you, “I’m not sure,” you muttered, “I had chosen to keep it a secret.”  You kept your eyes on him, his eyes stayed glued to her behind, yup definitely a piece of work, you didn’t want this in your life, not like he would pay you any attention anyway.

You scoffed,  he looked up at you eyes wide having been caught , " look I’m not holding you to this, it’s obvious you’re not ready,” you muttered , throwing the napkin down to the table, signaling for the waitress .

His head dipped slightly, “I’m sorry, and you’re right I’m not ready for this , it was completely un expected” he sighed rubbing at the back of his neck , “but it happened and I should have been more responsible, is there  any way I could help?”

You took a second to let his question settle over you, did you need his help?  You knew you didn’t, you had Bucky, or at least you had had him. Regardless of that, you knew you could very well do this alone, you didn’t need his help, you had gotten this far without him , thanks to Bucky. As your mind ke pt returning to your  Best-friend you realized just how badly you had messed up, you shouldn’t have listened to your coworkers, you should have just told them to stop, told them to leave it alone, you had been happy, everything had been going so well. And now, now you weren’t even sure where you stood, you may actually have to do this  _ alone _ , and there would be no one to blame but yourself.

You shook your head, “you’ve done enough,” you murmured, “if you don’t mind I really need to get going, I have a doctors appointment I need to be getting to.” You said grabbing your things as you stood.

“Right well I’ll take care of this for you,” he replied, he almost looked relieved, you were regretting ever agreeing to this by the second .

“Thanks ,” you muttered turning on your heel, a scoff falling from your lips when you chanced him a second glance and he was already all over the waiter from earlier.

You made it to your  doctor's appointment with 5 minutes to spare , signing in you took the  seat  closest  to you.  Your leg bounced erratically as you watched the front door, a small part of you hoped that Bucky would still show even after the events that occurred this morning, but as your name was called out, your heart fell , he really wasn’t coming. What had you been expecting though, you had been horrible to him, when he had been your shoulder to lean on this entire time, he didn’t deserve those awful words that you had spewed out at him , father to this baby or not, he had been there.

Grabbing your things, you stood making your way to the door giving the nurse a forced smile. Giving one last glance at the front door you hoped that you might catch a glimpse of Bucky running in, but there was nothing. Your head fell, your heart clenching in your chest, you supposed you had your answer, you were going to do this alone.

“Good afternoon y/n, how are we feeling today” the doctor questioned as she entered the room, immediately getting to work on setting up the equipment.

“I’m okay,” you replied swallowing the knot in your throat, “uhm I know I said I wanted to keep the gender a secret, but do you think you could tell me what I'm having?” you questioned softly.

“Of course, momma, once I have the screen set up, we can go ahead and let you know,” she replied giving you a warm smile.

“alright, well we’re all set here, go ahead and lie back for me,” she instructed helping you lean back, “was dad not going to be able to be here?” she questioned as she lifted your shirt.

“no, I don’t-”

You were cut off by three sharp knocks at the door. The doctor turned towards the door yelling a quick “come in”, the door opened revealing the same nurse who had brought you in she smiled brightly, “we have a late arrival,” she informed the doctor.

Bucky appeared behind her; his face was flushed as he surveyed the room, he took notice of you on the bed, looking at the chair next to it and seemingly relaxing as he noticed it was unoccupied.

“Sorry I'm late,” he said quietly as he walked into the room.

Bucky’s eyes couldn’t quite meet your as he made his way into the room, “No problem,” the doctor chirped, “we were just getting started, mom wanted to find out the gender, so you’re just in time, glad you could make it.” She motioned towards the chair by your side, Bucky made his way over, taking a seat sliding his chair in closer. He was staring intently a t the screen, his eyes just wouldn’t meet yours, tears pulled at your eyes. 

You glanced up willing the tears away, “awe mom  doesn’t get emotional just yet, let me put your little peanut up on this screen first.” the doctor chuckled, patting your thigh. You mentally cursed, you were hoping she wouldn’t take notice, out of the corner  of your eye  you could see Bucky’s eyes snap to yours but you didn’t dare look his way in fear of breaking further. A frown graced his features, his hand reaching out to take yours in his tightly, leaning down  he place a gentle kiss to the back of your hand.

“Well now that dad’s here, let’s go ahead and get started,” she replied as she lifted up your shirt.

Bucky squeezed your hand and you couldn’t help yourself as you turned your head to look at him, only to find he was staring straight ahead his eyes intently on the screen. He must have sensed your eyes on him, his eyes meeting  yours briefly before they were glancing down at your bump the doctor was rubbing the wand over, he smiled warmly before his face fell slightly, almost as if he was remembering the events of this morning.  How badly you wanted to reach out to him and let him know that everything would be okay , but you weren't sure if it would be. You squeezed his hand a little tighter as the doctor continue d to swirl the wand around  your swollen bump , “s o do you have any preferences ?” The doctor questioned turning to the two of you.

“Preferably healthy ,” you answered, the Doctor chuckled.

“Of course, we would want nothing more, what about dad?” She asked turning towards Bucky.

You could see him visibly swallow “a girl,” he had said it so softly you almost hadn’t heard him.

The doctor gave him a warm smile, “well let’s see what we have here,”  she spoke as the three of you intently watched the screen warp as she moved  the wand around  around  pressing it into you.

“Alright you two, it looks like you’re hav ing a \- ” the doctor paused, you waited with baited breath, “a beautiful baby girl,” she turned to look at Bucky, “ congrats dad , you were right! ” She beamed.

You couldn’t help the tears that now rolled freely down your fa ce, “hope those are happy tears mom ,” the doctor said looking over at you. You nodded your head as the tears continued to flow. The doctor handed you pictures of your sonogram and a tissue.  “Alright you two, everything looked great, baby’s growing great too,  soon enough our appointments will move from four weeks to two, then one as we get closer, for now just head up to the front for your next appointment, should anything occur  you just  give us a call .” she smiled.

You sat up slowly as the doctor exited the room, rolling your shirt back down over your bump. There were so many things you wanted to say, but you weren't sure where to even start, did he even want to talk to you, had he been forced into coming here? The tension in the room was starting to scratch at you, it was nearly suffocating. You slipped from the bed gathering your things, Bucky following after you, still no words shared between the two of you, god you needed to get out. You reached the receptionist who quickly handed you your next appointment card before thanking you with a cheery smile. You nearly took the door out with how quickly you strode out, it was getting harder to breathe.

You broke through the front door , turning to the side quickly, you needed to get home. “Woah, doll, calm down.” Bucky  gruffed grabbing a hold of your bicep keeping you from taking another step. You took in a shuddering breath, the tears on the verge of falling again, “Bucky please,” you pleaded, “please just let me go.”

He turned you to face him, “is that what you want, you want me to let you go?” he questioned. His hand slid under your chin pulling you to look at him, his eyes capturing yours right away, “tell me, is that what you want?”

Your lower lip trembled, eyes glistening with tears, you shook your head, “No,” you whispered, “but I don’t deserve you after those terrible things I said, you didn’t deserve it, and I should have never said them, I should have never agreed to this stupid meeting, he didn’t care, he was never going to care, everything was going so good for me, everything was at peace, I was happy, and now,” you took in a shuddering breath, “now I ruined everything, and I’m going to have to do this alone.” 

Bucky let out a sigh before he was pulling you into his arms tightly his head falling on yours as he let you cry into his chest, another sigh left his lips as he rubbed your back soothingly, “Now where did you get the idea that you were going to do this alone?” he questioned into your hair.

You moved away from him slightly so you could get a better look at his face, “But bucky I-"

“But nothing sweetheart,” he murmured, “I’m not sure if you remember, but when we decided to take the next step in our relationship i told you,  this changes everything for me, I want to be there for you in more ways than one, since the first moment you told me about your dreams you made me realize I wanted that too, and for every moment after that that it was brought up I began to realize it was you who I wanted that with, now doll I intend to keep my word, I wasn’t going to let you do this alone.” he assured you.

Your heart swelled in your chest, tears pooling in your eyes, “But how could you be so forgiving, I was such a jerk to you,” you muttered letting your head fall into his chest.

He chuckled his chest vibrating against your head, “sweetheart, I should have been more understanding to some degree, you were right, I’m not the father, but I very much want to be” he added when he saw you wanted to cut him off, “I want this with you, and even though that little girl growing inside of you is not mine by blood, if you’ll let me, I want to love the both of you the way you two deserve to be loved.”

Your hands came up to cup his cheeks, “How did I ever get so lucky with you,” you whispered, “I’m so sorry for being a jerk, I should have never let my coworkers talk me into this,” you sighed, “I really am sorry, and I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else except you.” you murmured.

Bucky leaned down placing a gentle kiss to the top of your head , “I know babe, I know, let’s get you home, I think you’ve had enough for one day.” He  said  as he adjusted his arms around you, tucking you into his side.

“ Bucky , I can barely walk as it is, covering my eyes is making it like ten times harder,”  you  said, trying  your hardest to sound  annoyed but  the  amusement in your voice  was slipping  through as a smile tugged at your lips. .

He chuckled. “ Come on doll, trust me , I won’t let anything happen to you, besides were almost there.”

“Were  inside of our home, ”  you  noted , “ what’s in here that you could possibly want to surprised me with ?”  you  asked with a laugh.

“You’ll see,” he said and  you  didn’t have to be looking at him to know he was smirking.

The two of you had only gotten home from having dinner  with your friends about a half an hour ago. The team had decided to throw you a small baby shower, in the comfort of your closest friends, no coworkers in sight thankfully. You had not been expecting it, you had just been expecting to go to dinner like you recently had been doing, but Bucky and the team had managed to surprise you to say the least. You were an emotional mess the entire time, ugly crying was a huge understatement compared to the mess you were. You didn’t  realize how loved your child was by the team already, “Buck’s always talking the two of you up, course we were going to fall in love too,” Sam had  spoken up throwing a wink at you. 

It had only made you cry harder, “Jesus Sam why did you have to go and make my girl cry harder,” Bucky chuckled pulling you into his side. 

You looked up at Bucky with glistening eyes, lip trembling, “your girl?” you questioned. 

“oh man here we go again,” Sam  laughed watching as your face contorted into a tearful one, and it was anything but pretty. Bucky had managed to calm you down after  a while , though you had reassured him they were happy tears, “you sure?”  Sam had butted in, “because if  you're not happy and Barnes is keeping you hostage blink once to let us know.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you, “Bucky isn’t keeping me hostage  Wilson , but if he ever does  ill let you know.”

The rest of the night had been filled with laughter, your heart was filled with the utmost love, you almost didn’t want to leave when Bucky had announced it was time to get you home. You had almost put up a fight, almost, had it not been for  Bucky's promise of a surprise. From the second you had entered the threshold of your home Bucky had been a ball of nerves.

Your face was laced with concern as Bucky led you over to the couch helping you to sit, “Don’t you dare move from that spot till I get back,” he had said, maybe you should have blinked once at dinner. You watched as Bucky retreated down the hallway disappearing into one of the rooms. A few minutes later and Bucky was returning, he had the brightest smile on his face as he rounded the couch extending his hands out to you. You placed your hands in his as he pulled you up, as soon as you were  standing, he had pushed you forward slowly leading you to where you were now. 

“Alright sweetheart, you can go ahead and open those gorgeous eyes for me,” he whispered as his hands fell from your eyes finding a new home on your waist.

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “My bedroom?” you questioned looking at him over your shoulder.

“not sure you could call it that anymore,” he said, a smile in his voice.

“What, what do you mean?” you questioned with a confused laugh.

His hand reached around you, gripping the doorknob and twisting it slightly. He gave it a gentle push and let the door swing open.

“The nursery.” He said simply, a smile in his voice.

“Bucky,” you gasped quietly.

You took in the room; the white walls were now painted a pastel  pink, small white lights circled the ceiling creating the illusion of a starry sky. There was a white wooden crib off to the right where your bed used to be, a golden star mobile floating above it. There was a changing table and a dresser, a bassinet and rocking chair over in the corner. The room was filled with all the gifts Bucky and you had received over the months from the team, everything from various baby clothes to an immense  number of plush toys.

You walked further into the room taking everything in, your heart swelled in your chest, at the wording that lay above the crib, “I love you to the moon and back”. “Bucky this is beautiful” you said softly turning to face him, “when did you do this?” you questioned. Well you’ve been so busy with the project at work, I had those extra hours when you were out to put this together,” he smiled.

“ so, is that why you’ve been holding me hostage in your room?” you questioned with a teasing smile.

He closed in on you his arms wrapping around you, “I don’t recall you complaining though,” he murmured as he leaned closer to you his lips hovering just over yours.

“ So, does this mean  I'll be moving into your room?” you questioned your lips brushing his.

“it looks like that,” he murmured his lips pressing to yours, “mmm, hope you don’t mind.”

The last weeks of your pregnancy were coming to a near, and you  weren't sure how much farther your stomach could stretch, you were at your breaking point, every moment of every day you felt more and more like a beached whale. Your clothes  was uncomfortable, your feet were always swollen, you were always craving food at random hours of the night, and recently the  braxton hicks had really started to kick in, which always had you and Bucky on the edge of your seats the closer you got. The only plus side to all of this had to the increase of your libido, there wasn’t a second of your day that wasn’t filled with the desire to jump Bucky’s bones, not that he minded in the least, he would always tell you the two of you were making up for lost time. 

You  were currently soaking in the bath, your body lax from the pleasure you had just experienced, you didn’t think you could ever get tired of those moment with Bucky. Your hands and feet were pruned from the soak, you truly couldn’t bring yourself to part from the tub.

“Hey sweetheart,” Bucky grinned, you turned your head to see him leaning against the bathroom door, “You think you ready to get out of that tub, you’ve been in there for  a while ,  I'm beginning to think you’re trying to turn into a fish at this point,” he teased.

You grinned up at him lazily, “ it's so comfy Buck, come join me,” you murmured making grabby hands at him.

Bucky chuckled shaking his head as he kicked off from the door, “alright doll, let’s get you out of there and get you into something more comfortable.”

“and that would be?” you questioned as he helped pull you from the tub.

“our bed,” he smiled as he handed you a towel, “ Jesus sweetheart you were soaked,” he joked noticing how damp the carpet beneath you had gotten.

He met your eyes only to find them wide in horror, “y/n,  what's wrong?” he questioned  concerned.

“I, uhm, I think it’s time.” you murmured.

“time for what?” he questioned face scrunched in confusion.

A blank expression washed over your face, you let your words process in his head. His eyes suddenly widened matching your previous expression, before a look of sheer panic washed over his face.

“shit, okay, uhm, okay,” he said as he grabbed ahold of your face leaning down to place a firm kiss to your lips. Bucky turned on his heels as he ran out of the bathroom, running around your shared room as he grabbed the hospital bags. You made your way slowly to the bedroom, already finding some clothes on the bed that Bucky had laid out for you. You suddenly heard Bucky yell from the kitchen, you smiled widely as you heard the excitement in his voice, with the tiniest hint of panic in his voice.

“I’m going to be a dad!”

“You’re doing great sweetheart, you’re doing so good,” Bucky soothed his fingers  running through your sweet slicked hair.

A pained groan left your lips as you pushed back into the bed, your hand squeezing Bucky’s tightly. You held back the urge to cry out, the pain was never ending, “you’re doing so good y/n, take in big breaths,” the doctor instructed, “alright y/n I'm going to need you to give me one big push, when I tell you alright, give me the strongest push you can.” she encouraged as she looked from you to the screen keeping track of your contractions.

You nodded your head  weakly; the doctor gave you the go ahead and you pushed with all the strength you could muster. The screams that you had held in tore from you as you bore your body down, pushing with all you had. “Wonderful y/n,” the doctor praised, “ I see the head, let’s take some breaths again, I'm going to need you to do the same thing again.”

You shook your head, you couldn’t it, the pain was too much, you didn’t think you could go again, you wanted it to be over. You looked at Bucky with tear filled eyes, “ I can’t, it hurts so much,” you whimpered.

Bucky's hands removed itself from your hair to rest on your feverish cheek, “yes you can baby, you can do this, the pain will be over soon, our little girl is almost out, you just got to give them a few more pushes sweetheart.” he  murmured placing a kiss to your head.

The doctor told you to push again, the pain tore through you as you once again pushed with all the strength you could muster, another scream fell from your lips. “She’s almost here,” Bucky murmured in awe, “just one more push y/n, give me one big push, and your little girl will be here,” the doctor announced. The doctor counted to three, and with the help of the nurses and Bucky’s encouraging words, you pushed for the final time, your body falling lax into the bed, the second you heard the tiny wails fill the room.

Your little girl was placed onto your chest, a choked sob fell from your lips, as you held her closely, your lips kissing her crown, “she’s so beautiful,” you whispered, your glossy eyes looking up towards Bucky, his own filled with tears.

“beautiful just like her mother,” he smiled  tearily leaning down to capture your lips in a warm kiss, “I love you so much sweetheart, you did so good,” he whispered as he pulled away, his forehead leaning on yours.

“Would dad like to do the  honors ?” the doctor questioned pulling the two of  you from your moment, a pair of scissors held out to him.

He looked from you to the scissors than back to you, you smiled up at him, nothing but love in your eyes for the man, “go ahead daddy,” His eyes filled with tears as he followed the nurses to the other side of the room.

You had never had any doubts that Bucky would be an amazing father, but as he stood in the corner of the hospital room soothing your daughter, you knew you had been right. He was so careful with her, dotting over her anytime she fussed, if even for a second. Your daughter knew as much, because just like she had Bucky wrapped around her tiny finger,  Bucky had her as well.

Bucky finally turned to face you, “hey there doll, how long you been staring?” he questioned as he walked over to you, your daughter tucked tightly in his arms.

“Long enough,” you smiled, leaning up to meet his lips in a sweet kiss.

You moved over slightly in the bed allowing Bucky to slide in next to you, “she’s so beautiful,” you murmured as you leaned against Bucky’s shoulders.

“I’m telling you just like her momma,” he grinned, adjusting her in his arms so he could pass her to you. Bucky’s empty arms wrapped themselves around the both of you, you swore the minute she was placed in your arms you fell more in love than you had before. The nervousness and doubts that you had ever had disappeared the moment you looked into those beautiful brown eyes. You couldn’t even begin to explain what it was like to hold and look at someone that you had created. To say you felt like you were on cloud 9 was a complete  understatement to the  emotions that were coursing through you.

“What are you thinking about sweetheart?” Bucky questioned.

“Just thinking how beautiful life is right now,” you replied turning to look at him, “like it’s so hard to believe I'm here right now, I would have never imagined this, I honestly never thought I'd be here with you, but I'm so glad it all happened like it did, because I wouldn’t change it for a thing, you’ve made me so happy Bucky Barnes.”

“everything you just said times ten,” he smiled, leaning down to capture you lips in a passionate kiss, you eventually found the will to tear your lips from each other, his forehead resting against yours.

“I love you,” you whispered your eyes meeting his.

“I love you too sweetheart,” he breathed before looking down at the pink bundle in your arms, “and I love you  Winifred Rose Barnes,”

Your heart melted in your chest as your head leaned against Bucky’s shoulder, you were right where you needed to be.


End file.
